Blizzard Page 19

  Thedryk remained the same as always to me, a dependable rock. He had completely abandoned his room as my dreams progressed and slept in the chair that sat in the corner. Eventually, even that changed. He stopped sleeping in the chair and transitioned to sleeping in my bed. More accurately, atop my bed, and out of pure necessity. Dreams, foresight, whatever they might be called, it is all the same. As I progressed in my training to work on controlling my visions, so did they overlap into reality. The boundary that had once divided my dreams and that possible reality skewed and spilled upon one another. The feeling when this occurred reminded me so much of that portal I slipped through connecting our world and the other, as though I were placing my face upon the surface of the stillest water and pushing through its glassy reflection to see the other side. Where I expected the liquid reception, I instead found the dry, stark reality waiting that places its crushing weight upon my chest to suffocate. I was directionless and felt the pull of each trying to guide my footing when it occurred. Once I returned from this state, I found that metaphorical dampness had carried across from the other realm. My dreams were no longer dreams, but a tether that would not let me entirely forget what I could only grasp after, leaving me with shredded threads that remained.

  I tried to stop my body from its violent tremors of the recent awakening. For those brief breaks in between training and preparing for whatever lay ahead, I found peace as I lay in Thedryk’s arms. A shamed bashfulness always burned my integrity when I considered the position we were placing ourselves in, but I took in the warmth of his body next to mine that heightened the scent of patchouli. The perception of safety he provided lent the greatest comfort when my body still reverberated from the shock of the losses I had experienced.

  For the relief I found in my time with Thedryk, I still had not learned how to quell the anger that infested my mind like a parasite, eating up every bit of sense and what little patience remained. To be perfectly honest, the situation only served to amplify my resolve in finding a way to help in searching for my niece. So no, I could not wholly eliminate said parasite as its true identities were many. Responsibility, guilt, memory, resolve, and determination.

  What we had not anticipated as a result from the forced memory-traveling, though Eliza believed she had considered the worst-case scenario, was just how much stronger my gift would become. As a result, Eliza immediately dispensed me to training my mind, on working to try to control my ability which had only served to amplify and enable the penetration. Its reach into the future expanded and crossed dimensional rifts, breaking through the physical barriers. The past, however, had become sharper, clearer, and that in itself had its own dangers for myself and those nearby. For all the vigorous training, this cursed gift still ran rampant on occasion. I still found myself thrust into the violent dreams of the past, and while those were physically harmless to myself and everyone else, it left hairline fractures in the emotional state. For those of the future, I could not confirm whether they would be definitive or prospective, and they were the most dangerous and disruptive.

  Whichever of the two categories, there was always a woman I did not recognize, and that dream-future was no less tumultuous than what we had all just experienced in dealing with Zachariah. The woman was a vampire, I believe she was in some way connected to Lucy, but I could never see her face or even how she was connected. The dreams were truly nightmares where I fought incessantly, but to no avail.

  This woman and I appeared to be within the castle, facing off. She was holding a short sword that I always saw clear as my hand before my face. I knew others had been hurt, the possibility that my friends, my most trusted allies might be dead, that Lucy might be worse somehow, broke down the confidence I had so carefully crafted. The sounds of distant screaming, Alanna, Benjamin, Theresa, and Luken, cut into my soul. Fear quickened my heart as the thought surged through without control that Theresa and Luken had been freed, somehow, and the four were fighting once more. I could not clearly see this woman; she was a clear picture in that her skin was pale as the moonlight, smooth, clean, lean, deadly. Her hair light, almost as light as her skin, her eyes a dark visage, my thoughts were she was both beautiful and ugly. Her clothes were black, all over, but her top was sleeveless, and I barely made out she had both pants and a skirt on, but the combination confused me. And she was fast; she was attacking me full force with a down slashing of her blade, twirling full circle as I parried and dodged her sudden stop and thrust, three times, and with such speed I knew I wouldn’t survive the battle. That was, not until I heard Eliza cry out, frustrated, hurt, angered, and a child’s voice screaming. The high-pitched soprano voice stopped my heart and awakened the boiling blood of vampire within me as my mind raced. Is that Lucy? Has she been brought here? The unidentified girl, Eliza, they were in danger, and I could not bear to lose anyone else. I heard a muffling of words and turned to find the blade being carried up from below, clipping my chin, Thedryk crying out and being cut off as I turn to find him pinned by two of the creatures.

  The woman was calculating and clever, but she did not anticipate my return, the sudden surge of energy and pure hatred towards her. I pushed my body beyond its limits. I became faster, matching her in pace, her beautiful-ugly face contorting; though never clearly defined, I can tell there was no more beauty. Confusion and momentary fear clearly creased across her forehead and around her eyes as we began exchanging blows, and then that taunting smile returned. She missed slicing through my neck entirely but skimmed along the right side, just enough to allow blood to slip out in a sheet of red as I catch her along her left ribs. My cut was a bit deeper, but still not enough to kill her. We each recoiled just enough to prepare our blades for our next attacks when Thedryk’s voice called out for me, strained. I held my breath in anticipation, and then I woke.

  I woke in cold sweats, shaking from the adrenaline that coursed through my veins. In my dreams when I fought the woman, we always reached the brink of death. She with that smile, what little I could make out, and me in that fevered desperation to save everyone. While the dream quickly dissipated and details always became scattered, torn up and thrown into the fiery inferno of my gift, I woke to find new bruises and cuts in the waking world.

  Rapid healing might be a blessing to all vampires, but it does not negate the pain associated with those wounds. The latest vision proved no less jarring. Peeling myself away from Thedryk’s embrace, I settled into the chair at the desk and opened my journal, preparing to capture any and all details I could recall.

  Her smile. Mirthless.

  Her lips. Full, plucked pink, cruel with those perfect teeth. Had I seen the color of her hair? She seemed both too real and entirely false, an impossible being.

  I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to force my mind to replay whatever images it could salvage from the flames. A moment sparked, and I thought I recalled her hair being incredibly fair. Was it almost white? Yes. My mind focused on the one sparse image I recollected, clinging desperately to whatever clue it could bring. It reminds me of—

  “My love.” Thedryk was standing behind me, his voice resonating within the room. He was leaning over me, kissing the top of my head and breathing me in. “You know your dreams still reach out to all of us?”

  It was more a statement than a question, so I did not bother to answer. Normally it warmed my heart when he called me “his love,” something he had taken to in private as of late, but at the moment I was focused on other details. “I can almost see her; her vision becomes a bit clearer with each dream. I think the training Eliza is having me undergo is helping to sharpen my ability.” I turned my face up to Thedryk, seeing his somber expression cast upon the journal I had been writing in.

  “It is painfully clear to me—”

  “How does it work? Do you see from your perspective, then?”

  “Yes.” He sounded a bit surprised to my inquiry. “Each of us sees only what we either have, or will, see, it seems.”

  “Can you tell me what she look
s like then, the woman I am fighting? Is she someone we know, someone you or the others may know? Do you recognize where we are fighting? I think it’s here in the castle. What about Lucy, do you see her in your dreams? I thought I heard her; she could still be alive. I could still save her! What has she done with Lucy?” I felt a mania set in, a frenzy to acquire the knowledge in finding my niece. Instead Thedryk wrapped his arms around my shoulders and collarbone, pulling me back against the chair and his chest.

  “I’m afraid those are details I have not considered focusing on, nor do I see Lucy.” He kissed my cheek. “But I always clearly see how you fight without restraint, and if this is what’s to come, she has much to fear.” The scruff from his unshaven face tickled; I huffed a defeated sigh. “Be patient, all things come in their own time. You know trying to rush this will only set you further back.”

  His admonishment was accurate, but it did nothing to subdue my frustration. Just two days before I had tried to force the revelations to open all the wider, and more than just I had suffered as a result. Everyone my gift had drawn in had been hurt, so I learned not to push the limits. This volatile power could give me the answers I needed, but it required far more patience than I had to spare. I placed my hand on his arm, laying my cheek against his skin and breathing him in softly before I pulled myself up from the chair and his embrace.

  “You still haven’t answered my question. Can you tell me what she looks like?”

  “No, she is always distorted. I’m afraid those are details I have not been granted; rather, I predominantly see both of your auras. You are the only two I am able to see in every vision, you with your golden light burning and blindingly brilliant, and the other woman—she’s dangerous, undoubtedly. Evil as I have never seen before, though I imagine it’s something similar to what Reegan would have been. Hers…” Thedryk’s eyes became enlarged, his pupils expanding with his focus as he continued. “She is your counterpart, the darkness to your light so engulfing, so hollow and empty I fear I may be absorbed if not for your light.” His breathing had become suddenly labored, strained with a shallow, rapid succession as he completed the description. Then just as quickly he was winding himself back down from the panicked surge. “At most, she is as a specter with no definite shape or features, no colors that are apparent aside from black clothes that outline her figure and white that I can only assume is her flesh.”

  Frustration bore its teeth into my heart. “I’m going to train.” My declaration brought all my resentment to the situation.

  Thedryk stood upright, letting his arms fall to his sides. “Would you at least take breakfast before you begin this time? You need it after that nightmare.”

  He reached across to my neck which had a faint red line, but I attempted to ignore his concern and turned to walk past him. As I headed towards the wardrobe, he looped his arm closest to me around my waist and pulled in gently. I did not fight his advance; I was too weary and knew he was right. He examined my arms, tracing his fingers along the lines that were almost completely healed and closed up to the newest on the right side of my neck.

  “You are so much more stubborn lately. Short tempered, too. Whatever happened to that patient woman who minded the family bakery and helped with the children?”

  I knew he meant well by his words, but those words tightened the already too-tight key in my heart. “What happened to the man who claimed I held so much promise and had such grand plans for me?” Perhaps exhaustion, frustration, and irritation had completed their triangulated constraint, but I held no restraint for the sharpness of my expression as I pressed forward with my verbal backlash. “That woman you speak of—she died with her family. She has an empty grave next to all those filled with the exception of one little girl.” I had only whispered the words but could sense Thedryk felt the impact as if I had cut out his heart with my father’s sword. I knew my tone held accusation.

  For a moment he loosened his grip, but then he reconsidered and wrapped both arms around me, squeezing lightly but firmly. I could feel his apology, his own heart breaking at that notion. It was heartless of me, I knew, to say such things. He had borne his own guilt in not burying my family immediately, in leaving their ruined corpses behind, and my niece who had apparently not died as assumed.

  My mind recalled our discussions once we had all regrouped. “Careless,” Eliza had stated coldly. “Foolish and naïve of you to leave that situation as it was.” She apparently did not understand the concept of restraint with her beratement, but Thedryk had taken them all as well-earned rebukes. That memory would not leave as I recognized there remained unspoken truths hanging between the two, those they would no doubt discuss behind closed doors elsewhere.

  I returned the embrace with even meeker words. “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for. Breakfast?” Pulling back from his embrace, I could not bring my eyes to his. For all the love I felt growing towards Thedryk, I found many doubts and questions had begun building.

  Letting go, Thedryk refused to lose the touching of our skin as he slid his hand down my arm to my hand, held it up to his lips, forcing my eyes to his, and spoke. “On your command, my lady.” And he kissed my hand gently.

  Grief, in all its forms, reflects in each person differently. I might have found peace and a budding love with Thedryk, but the way I lost and found my family was an insufferable pain that I had not allowed to fully settle into my heart. I could feel its crushing weight grow with every passing day. Losing those any person has loved the most, especially family, takes a great deal of time to learn to accept and process. My process had been to try to bury it deep down inside.

  Eliza had tried to draw the pain out of me.

  Thedryk tried to comfort me.

  Piper and Jonah had been unavailable for one reason or another, and I thought nothing of it.

  I would not let anyone else come near my feelings in that way. It was a burden I needed to work through on my own as best I could. Patience had been my sacrifice to appease my grief. The more time passed, though it had realistically only been mere weeks, the more frantic the fear inside me became. The nightmarish future my gift brought me only fueled that fear.

  Breakfast was a swift glass of what I preferred to reference as my red wine. As usual, it was provided in the great dining hall where the ball had been held in my honor during my initial introduction to the vampire family. The tables had been reduced to only one, holding seats for sixteen. Curtains were drawn back to the balcony, allowing the cusp of light from the full moon to trickle in. A chilling breeze carried in scents of the mountainside, fresh running water, and the faint scent of flowers. Death was within the fragrant air; the flowers I smelled were no doubt passing into their next cycle of life.

  Little conversation was held from where I sat, yet I watched and listened to the exchanges that were occurring, jarred by the sudden change in atmosphere.

  “What progress have you made with Luken and Theresa, Thedryk?” Eliza was sipping from her goblet, a most ladylike gesture from the petite figure. Her crystal-blue eyes watched his movements as a hawk. Though she was well composed, I could see fractures in her mannerisms giving way to her irritation which I marveled at in silent repose.

  “We’re only two weeks in, Eliza, and Zachariah had many notes.” Thedryk pressed his lips into a thin line; he was not as well composed as he had been moments before, which was an odd turnaround from his gentle countenance not even half an hour prior. “They were also in complete disarray. Very much un-like how meticulous Zachariah has always been.”

  Eliza was pursing her lips. “Then I shall assist you today. Perhaps the both of us can make sense of whatever insanity had possessed him recently.”

  Thedryk only waved his hand to her proposal. Everyone at the table appeared worn down as I took into account the attendants. Benjamin and Alana were absent from the breakfast table, again, I noted. Piper and Jonah sat in uncomfortable silence while exchanging glances only between each other. They were holding hands, their chairs pressed as c
losely together as possible. They held my attention longer than the exchange occurring between Thedryk and Eliza. A sensation filled the room in different forms of stress.

  “…and where will you fit in training Neva with all your good-intentioned support? Right now you should focus on her, and let me handle the task I have already been assigned.” Thedryk was clipping out his words in a harsh meter as he stood, slapping down the napkin from his lap. With his abrupt rise and emptied glass, he made it clear that was the end of both meal and conversation. He offered a swift farewell to all of us still seated at the table and left us quickly.

  For a moment I had to reel in and process what had just occurred. An argument that was lighting a fire from the friction that had been building between Thedryk and Eliza pulled me back from the loving, anxious couple that remained silent across from where I sat entranced.

  Eliza proved to be grasping her crystal goblet too tightly as it fractured in her hand. I knew my own temper had not improved since my change, but this made me realize my change in temperament could be more than not mourning the dead properly.

  Carefully setting down the newly veined crystal goblet, Eliza took a slow, steadying breath before turning her attention to me. “Today we’ll be reviewing the laws of our kind, Neva. Please, make yourself available in the library in an hour.” She stood, gently pushing her chair back in a smooth motion that almost denied the taut posture which followed. “Piper, Jonah.” Eliza appeared to be excusing herself in a most genteel manner before she turned her gaze to the couple.

  Eliza did not move from her position from the table, instead staring at the two in a cool manner. The world felt tilted, nearly upside down from all the tension that had saturated the air in the short time of breakfast. Piper looked to Eliza, her violet eyes to those chilled blue without a word to acknowledge the firm stare.

  “I must speak with you both, immediately, if you will.”

  Jonah turned his gaze up from their intertwined hands to Eliza’s placid expression; his brown eyes appeared a mask to me as he only nodded in response. As Eliza turned to leave, Jonah and Piper looked to one another, then to me as Piper delivered a folded paper before me. Her movements were as a ghost, no trace shown or left that she had moved a single muscle. Only a slight breeze followed her movements. I could feel my eyes enlarge as the two made their departure in a synchronized manner with only Piper’s concerned expression revealing some of the strain behind her otherwise perfect façade. Eliza had neither slowed nor turned around, knowing the two would follow without fail.